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Top Ten Hits

I was recently asked by the good folks at Vertebrate Publishing (the publishers of Grit Blocs, a book I may have mentioned once or twice) to write a short piece about my Top Ten favourite Peak grit boulder problems. Easy, I’m sure everyone could reel off their ten favourite problems just like that, right? The issue is I don’t really have ten favourite boulder problems, and if I did, I’m not convinced I’d want to give them away in an article in case everyone then goes and does them and then trashes them, or snaps the holds off etc etc. I didn’t even give away all my favourites in Grit Blocs, and that was for money! Does a favourite mean something you come back to time and time again? Maybe it does, but then maybe that excludes things you can or will only climb once, or even only visit once.

Being asked for your favourites is actually a tough choice, because there’s just so much good stuff out there on grit. It’s not like being asked for, say, your favourite Bond films. That’s easy because there’s only twenty five official options, and realistically only half a dozen credible answers, not least because you can disregard all the Roger Moor outings and that final Pierce Brosnan one with the invisible car that everyone hates without a second thought. Basically everyone is going to answer Casino Royale, easy. But gritstone is more expansive than the Bond universe. It’s a bewildering complex and interconnected web of characters, themes, styles, history and mythology. So being asked to pick favourite grit problems is actually like being asked what your favourite Wu-Tang Clan (or Wu-affiliated) albums are.

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Herein some answers are required to establish credibility in the list. These are the 36 Chambers, Liquid Swords and the Only Built 4 Cuban Linx of grit bouldering - the likes of Careless Torque, Angel’s Share etc. But you can’t just reel off the obvious choices from the original 5-Year-Plan era of solo releases. You’ve got to throw in something esoteric, which will mean nothing to some people but will get the nod from any budding entry-level cognoscenti members - if you know, you know, and they certainly do. These are the Wu-Tang Forever, the Supreme Clientele and the Return to the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version. But what about bringing it right up to date? It’s important to show that you’re current, so what about collaborations like the excellent jazz-infused Sour Soul by Ghostface & BadBadNotGood? Want to look like some sort of Dave Graham-esque crystal hunter of grit oddballs? What about throwing in a gritstone equivalent of 2005’s obscure Wu-Tang Meets the Indie Culture, which is worth considering squarely off the back of the RZA-produced track Biochemical Equation, featuring MF DOOM along with Bobby Digital himself? This would be akin to a largely OK but otherwise forgettable traverse you’d nominate just off the basis of a single exquisite move.

The other thing to consider is what chimes with you on one particular day might be different next week or next year. Right now you might be feeling the Birdsong boulder at Bradley, or quite into Timothy Dalton’s debut Living Daylights (a foreshadowing of the later Daniel Craig-era grittiness making a return to the franchise), or indeed all of Ghostface’s recent Adrian Yonge collaborations, or the hard-to-find Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II, but does that mean you’d want to nail your colours to the mast and write an article about how they’re the best? Anyway, I managed to overcome these dilemmas and write something for Vertebrate which, although fairly self-indulgent, is notably less so than this email. You have to know your audience afterall. Read the room. Anyway, here is a sneak peek at a couple of them - you’ll have to keep an eye on the Vertebrate site for the full piece out soon.

Kobe - Wharncliffe
When you ask most boulderers what’s their favourite problem, or what’s the best thing they’ve done, what they usually respond with is not in fact the best thing, but is usually the hardest thing they’ve done recently. In accordance with this rich tradition I will select Kobe at Wharncliffe. To add insult to injury this is technically neither gritstone nor in the Peak District. A pure vanity choice then. The redeeming feature here is the fact that is IS actually superb, with brilliant moves on incredible quality rock – a remarkable find. And, although the landing is not the most user friendly, it’s not too bad.

Sitting Duck - Burbage South
This isn’t much of a standout problem, doesn’t seem to be on many people’s radar, but it’s a belter, one of the best at whatever grade it is in the Peak. I can’t really walk past it this without having a go on it, no matter what time of year or how warm or cold it is. An essential stop on the circuit.

The Cube - Roaches
A good mate of mine fell off this and broke his ankle and required mountain rescue, some laughing gas and a stretcher carry to the road over the back to get to safety. And he fell off before I had a chance to have a go, so having been somewhat put off by the whole experience it took me almost twenty years to find myself back there. But it was worth the wait. Just getting established on the face is not easy, but some quality crimpy fishing-around-for-the-best-edges and a committing move high up awaits. Proper good stuff away from the Roaches crowds.