Pennine Lines w/c 22 Sept 2025
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Pennine Lines w/c 22 Sept 2025

Ever the details man, and someone with an eye for history and old-school aesthetics, Jim had it all mapped out in a persuasive deck, right down to the finer points of the promotion, including a  “Jim’ll Flex It badge” which Weetabix fans could obtain simply by cutting out five tokens from the cereal boxes, and sending them in along with a photo of their tensed bicep and only £25 in postage and packing. On the day the pitch went as smoothly as a Wimberry headpoint (Jim even improvising his way admirably past a malfunctioning Powerpoint clicker) but when it came to sealing the deal the cereal Execs clammed up. Vibes were clearly off, but the boys were not going to be fobbed off with the old “we’ll think about it and call you Tuesday week” line.

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Pennine Lines w/c 22 July 2024
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Pennine Lines w/c 22 July 2024

Warming up, brushing the scrittle off the topout, sorting out the pads, doing a few of the moves, making sure the droppable top section is dialled in, getting the spotters in the right place, and wafting away the final few midges. A quick chalk-up, the crag chatter pauses for 20-odd moves, and it’s done. A short distance above, walkers and runners circuit the rim the Kinder plateau, oblivious to the tiny bit of Peak climbing’s continuing and ever-evolving history being written just below.

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Pennine Lines w/c 15 July 2024
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Pennine Lines w/c 15 July 2024

So in the short term you have to just go with the flow of the dull grey damp days, mix things up with a trip away if you can, and take the little wins when they arrive if you can’t. For a start, the bilberries are out; salvation arriving in the form of tiny droplets of dark sweetness. And where you can’t win, you can always double down on the grimness - the crimpy sharp greasy limestone. Fight fire with fire. If you don’t experience it in terrible conditions then you can’t really appreciate the good days when things cool off. I sometimes think it’s possible to actually climb better in poor conditions anyway, as the weight of expectation is lifted. Or failing that, just count the days till you’re next sat outside a French gite, baking in the sun, like Jerry, semi-ironically serenading the dull British weather. The cycle continues…..

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