|| Grey, cold || Settled at least ||

|| Focus On... ||

The Dance

It’s cold, maybe too cold? Turn a cheek to the wind and glance - well, squint - across the moor to the jumble of gritstone boulders silhouetted on the horizon. Gonna be even colder up there. Is the cloud level going to play ball? The hours spent checking and re-checking weather forecasts at least confirms that this is exactly as anticipated. Should be the right conditions for it, on paper at least. That bodes well, perhaps this is the day after all. Could do without leaving empty handed this time, it’s a bit soul destroying. You wonder if you’d have been better off going elsewhere. Cue frantic waving of arms in an effort to pump blood into the fingers, the first of many such episodes.

Got everything? Might regret not having brought that warm drink, but the big gloves were a winner. Unload the car boot, all the gear feels heavier this time as it’s shouldered, and the trudge begins. The first hurdle being negotiating the squeeze through a slightly-too-narrow gate after a hundred yards. Fine for the lightly equipped dog walker, but not really designed with this amount of luggage in mind. Should really drop all the gear and lift it over, but we never learn.

The trudge continues, frozen mud crunching underfoot, making a mental note that this will have melted by the time a retreat is made. Consider whether or not the whole things counts as an obsession, traipsing up here in the cold again, hoping for something remarkable to happen, a change of fortunes this time. Believe in the process, tell yourself it’ll be worth it, and try to keep self-doubt at bay. Running through the required sequence in your head would be a worthy distraction at this point, but it’s now so engrained it’s automatic. There’s nothing to tweak or finesse any more, you know it so well. It’s just matter of executing it, and leaving that last bit of magic to inspiration and letting the day throw at you what it will. There’s always that roll of the dice involved. Nothing is ever nailed-on in this game. Despite all the preparation, all the pre-visualisation, enough uncertainty remains to keep the senses sharp. A gust of wind catches you at half-step, heavy load unbalanced, the sharp intake of chilled air snaps you out of the internal dialogue.

Don’t over-think it, just gotta be here at the right time, on the right day, and not mess it up. And keep the fingers warm - cue more frantic arm thrashing as the walk nears its conclusion. Boulders finally reached, heart rate up, it’s time to make it all come together. Shoulders relieved of their load, now all laid out on the floor, fingers pumped one last time to warm them up, we go though the same motions, the same dance.

All the preparation kicks in, it’s almost automatic but has to be done just right. Find the right spot by eye first. Feet set wide to give the tripod stability. Camera out of the bag, check the lens is secure, and onto the tripod. Open the shutter, extend the bellows, darkcloth over the back of the camera and under we go. Get the camera level and roughly in focus, tweak the composition a little, move the tripod a bit, take care of the edges of frame. Is everything in shot working for you, not against you? Head out from under the darkcloth before the camera’s screen starts to fog up and a quick sanity check - is it too windy, and can this all be brought into focus? Grab the magnifying loope, focus on the distance, then bring the foreground into focus with tilt. All good? Check the scale for the aperture we need - f/32? Perfect. Stop the lens down. Light meter out, take readings of foreground mid ground, and sky, decide on what grad filter to use, then carefully position it to hide the transition in shot. Close the lens, cock the shutter. Get a film holder out, checking the side you’re about to use is unexposed, insert into camera. Screw in a cable release. Fire the shutter a few times - working fine? Cock the shutter again Pull the dark slide out, wait a few seconds. Get a sense of the wind, is it gusting? Try and shelter the camera with your body. Check the meter one last time. EV6, f/32, that’s 30 seconds of exposure at ISO 50. Except we know the the film needs more at low light, so we give it a full minute. Wrestle a view of the wristwatch from between glove and jacket. One click to open the shutter. Try to watch the time, whilst looking out for any random runner or dog walker wandering into shot. Click again to close the shutter, dark slide back in, film holder back in bag, and we’re done. That’s all there is to it. Time for another? Nope, the light has gone, that cloud and rolled in. Time to pack everything up and head home to warm the toes and fingers.

Back at the car, someone else has parked up. Down jackets, pads being teased out of the boot. Overheard chat about this and that problem - the conditions, the sequence, whether or not the sun will come out. Will today be the day? Cue frantic waving of arms in an effort to pump blood into the fingers….